A new mom sparked intense debate online after turning to TikTok for advice on leaving her sleeping baby in the car while she goes to get gas.
Ana Yordanova told Newsweek she "didn't expect the video to spark such a debate," but "everything is so new and so daunting as a new parent," and she just needed a little advice on what to do.
It all started a week ago during a particularly busy morning for the new mom. "We had to head to the doctors after our baby class in the morning, but my car had only 10 miles left in it, so we went through the petrol station," Yordanova, from Scotland, said. "My fiancée usually fills up my car on the weekends, but we are new parents, and as much as we try to be organized about stuff like this, it's not always possible."
As she pulled up to the gas station, Yordanova noticed her daughter Eviee was asleep in the car seat. "That's when the debate in my head started," she said.
"I wouldn't want to wake her up to go inside and pay, as a cranky baby during the doctor's appointment is so overwhelming, but I was also wondering how safe it is to leave her in the locked car for two minutes while going inside to pay."
Yordanova said she began to "spiral" as her anxiety led her to imagine any number of scenarios. She decided to park, give her daughter 10 minutes, and consult with the mom community on TikTok. That's when she filmed the video that got everyone talking.
What TikTok Said
In the clip, shared under the handle @ana.rue, Yordanovia sits in her car with Eviee fast asleep in the back. An onscreen caption asks: "Is it socially acceptable to leave your sleeping baby in the locked car while paying for your fuel or do you take them in?"
Yordanova posted the video out of "genuine curiosity as to what other parents do in situations like this." At the time of writing, the video has been watched 1.3 million times, though there's been little consensus on the matter.
"You ALWAYS take a baby in, never leave it in the car!" one user wrote.
Another disagreed, commenting: "I leave my awake baby in the car when I go in to pay. Never seen a person take a baby in?!"
"I've never left my son in the car on his own, the world is a scary place," a third said, with a fourth responding: "Even if she's awake I leave her in the car to go pay. Just make sure it's locked."
Caitlin Slavens, Family, Postpartum & Child psychologist at MamaPsychologists, said leaving a sleeping baby in the car "isn't recommended."
"While it might seem convenient to just pop inside and leave the sleeping baby in the car, there are real risks involved," Slavens told Newsweek. "Cars can heat up quickly, and even in mild weather, the temperature inside a car can climb to dangerous levels for a young child. There's also the safety factor -- an unattended vehicle can be a target for theft."
She suggested paying at the pump, which is often an option at gas stations, but wasn't available to Yordanova on this occasion.
Megan Thompson, a parenting coach from San Jose, California, disagreed with this stance.
"I'm a mom of five, with twins as well, and I absolutely have left a sleeping baby in the car at a gas station while I pay for gas," she told Newsweek. "I'd argue it's safer to leave a baby and kids in the car than it is to bring them into a gas station minimart. Drivers are coming and going and can't see small children.
"Also, the fumes aren't good for them to breathe either."
Though she acknowledged that there are some gas stations she would probably avoid due to crime in the respective neighborhood, she saw no issue with the practice.
What The Mom Decided
Ultimately, Yordanova opted for a compromise of sorts. "In the end I parked right outside the door so I could see the car and made sure there was no queue inside," she said. "Locked the car, went in and paid quickly."
Though she might not have gotten a conclusive answer, Yordanova feels she's learned a valuable lesson from the experience.
"Every parent should trust their own instincts and make the right decisions for themselves," she said.
"There is so much anxiety if we are doing the right things. We want our children to be safe, as it's a scary world out there, but also not to live in fear. It's such a fine balance and can be overwhelming."