When you think of someone with agoraphobia you may picture a person who is very unsociable and doesn't want to leave the house. But after speaking to Bethany Pritchard it's clear that this is a damaging misconception and often very far from the truth.
The 28-year-old from Rhyl has hardly left her home during the last four years after she suffered difficult personal circumstances alongside coronavirus lockdowns, which manifested in an intense phobia of going outside.
But before this became her norm Bethany said she was a sociable and outgoing person who spent much of her time outside living a normal and active life. Speaking to WalesOnline over the phone she comes across as chatty and personable.
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Although her symptoms happened gradually, she explained that they grew so intense that she would have a panic attack at the thought of going outside. When she fell pregnant around March 2022 it saw her miss scans and appointments due to her overwhelming anxiety. For the latest Welsh news delivered to your inbox sign up to our newsletter
Bethany said: "Previously I was active. I was out nearly every day walking, travelling by bus and train and going to see my family a lot. I would go to family parties and BBQs, I was really, really sociable.
"Agoraphobia started off gradually and the fear built and built until I reached a point where I couldn't function. I went silent and I barely spoke to anybody."
Bethany said the phobia started off by her "shutting herself away". She said: "I wouldn't open the curtains. I was more comfortable inside as long as the curtains and blinds were shut. I didn't want any kind of outside in my house. I was literally shut in.
"It reached a point where even opening the door to anyone who knocked set off a panic attack. I would think 'What are they here for?', 'What do they want?', 'Are they going to do this or that?'. I couldn't get out of my own head
"Day to day I would get up and do the usual stuff, but even the slightest mention of having to go out or having to go to the doctors or anything like that, I would have an instant panic attack and I feel like I can't do it."
Describing the anxiety she experienced at the thought of going outside, she said: "If someone would say to walk into town or go to the shops just around the corner, the thought of that would be: 'What if someone does this to me?', 'What if someone is looking at me funny?', 'What if someone stares at me?', 'What if someone follows me?'.
"It's literally what if, what if, what if It just feels like you are safer staying inside than you are attempting to go out."
During the depths of her agoraphobia Bethany said she fell pregnant around March 2022. She said it was an incredibly difficult time for her to navigate, and that she even considered not going through with the pregnancy. The first time she left the house since early 2020 was December 2022 when she gave birth to her little boy.
She said: "I felt like I was spiralling, I didn't know what I was going to do. Knowing that I would have to give birth in a hospital, it terrified me. I considered not going through with the pregnancy because of the fear I was in."
Having noticed that Bethany was missing appointments during her pregnancy, Bethany said social services got involved to try and help her. Although she was grateful for their help she said she continued to struggle.
"Social services arranged a midwife to come to me so I could avoid going out because I would get into a proper mental breakdown about it. I would scream and cry.
"Social services would come to me once a week to see how I was doing and then the doctors put in a referral for me to the mental health team. They tried to do exposure therapy with me before I gave birth, but it didn't go very well. I think I did one session in about 10 because I just couldn't do it."
Bethany said her fears came true when she found out her baby was breech and was informed she would need a c-section at hospital.
"I was absolutely terrified," she said. "It was awful, I didn't know if I was coming or going and I didn't sleep. As soon as I got home the agoraphobia started again."
Bethany said she continued with her life inside, with the help of her new partner who she previously met through online gaming. She said: "I met my new partner through online gaming. It meant I could feel safe while making friends at the same time. It helped and it didn't because it meant I didn't need to go outside for social interaction because I have it inside."
However, in late 2023 Bethany began to make moves to try and get over the phobia. She said it took a lot of anxiety and building herself up, but that she has been motivated by her son. Although she is not yet over agoraphobia, she has made a lot of progress by challenging herself to go outside at her own pace.
She said: "I'm not doing this just for me, I'm doing it for my son as well because he needs to be outside. I get up and I won't give myself the chance to think about [going outside].
"I will get up, get my son dressed and go out. It will either be early morning or late at night because I know there will be hardly anyone around, so that helps a lot
"Having something to focus on like my son helps. If I try going on my own I will have music or a podcast or just something in my ears so I am focusing on something else rather than where I am. I'm trying to challenge myself every single day. It's going okay and I am doing it but the anxiety is still there. It is getting easier to manage the more I'm doing it.
"I managed to go around the local botanical gardens and I took my son for the first time to a tiny children's park. There was another mum there and I did feel anxious and really sick but I did do it. I also venture up to my nan's because she's in her 80s and I don't want her to miss out on my son. It's only five minutes away but it is still pushing a barrier.
"The next will be to tackle town centre which is going to be really hard, but I know I can do it. It's just challenging the anxiety more than anything. Mentally I feel like I can't but I have no choice because my son won't thrive as much as other children otherwise."
She added: "Now that I have started going out a little bit I would really, really hate to go back to where I was. I've realised how nice it is to be in the fresh air in non-artificial light, just taking everything in other than the same four walls."
Hoping to raise awareness of the phobia, Bethany said it's very misunderstood and that there is very little support out there for those who suffer with it.
She said: "In my opinion it's one of the worst phobias you can have because you miss out on so much. Something basic like at Christmas time the Christmas lights going up or a new shop opening - something like that is so basic but people take it for granted.
"Medically there is not much support for people like me and it's not really taken seriously. You get told 'You know you can do it' which doesn't really help because we know we can do it physically, but mentally there is no chance.
"I have found some support on social media. There's an agoraphobia support group that I'm in. A lot of people there are in the same boat. A lot are worse than me and a lot are much better. It's just nice to talk to people who understand. We are all fighting with our minds every day."
Reaching out to others who suffer with the phobia, Bethany said although it is difficult and can feel impossible to overcome, there is hope for everyone. She said: "I would say try and find yourself a little support group if possible because that got me further than anything.
"Posting in my little group that I have been for a minute walk and all the support you get from people saying 'well done', that really does boost your self esteem and it makes you want to do it more and more. Also reach out to your local mental health services. For me it wasn't great but for other people it might be better. At least give it a try, it's better than not trying it at all."