My entire life, I have found myself bent in half when greeting women for whom a welcome hug is appropriate. My aunties, cousins, sisters and any number of others might throw their arms up, initiating a hug.

When women (of any age) hug me, they always want to put their arms above my own -- their arms are basically around my neck during the hug. Picture me bent in half hugging my 4'11'' mother-in-law.

I'm wondering, is this just hugging etiquette? Would I be in violation if I just kept my arms above theirs, allowing myself less of a stoop? Is it a rule or custom?

GENTLE READER: It is not a rule, and Miss Manners gives you leave to bend only as far as is consistent with your principles and your back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)